Tuesday, April 12, 2016

I clutched my thoughts all to myself and shut my eyes as I leaped out into my own place as I lunged out for life and hoped it wasn't cold. pause,in mid air,isn't this a just a little silly? I mean it's going to be cold anyways ,so,why? Oh well too,late now splash ‘yay’ I hear as I float to the top feeling like i've been hit in the face with a shovel.Almost scared to,I open my eyes and gape for air ohno! I- just remembered, the mohaka is freezing! I start to try and claw myself up on to the rapid dragons raft (seriously guys,it's hard!)Once we were all on again I heard the words ‘forward paddle!!!!!’ And started drumming away -freezing

2 comments:

  1. Gus this is great reading! I can actually see you doing this. It is also great that you are letting everyone understand what is happening in your mind.

    There are a few small errors that I would like to find and correct.
    Keep up the great work :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. maybe have an actual start on where you are and what you are doing

    ReplyDelete